


jan-mar ‘18 cuddling prompt requests

by amaelamin



Category: VIXX
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Angst, Canon Compliant, Coming Out, Complicated Relationships, Crushes, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Gen, Humor, M/M, Magic, Platonic Relationships, Romance, Sexual Tension, Vampires, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 04:57:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 23
Words: 16,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13967778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amaelamin/pseuds/amaelamin
Summary: theme: cuddling, from this post: https://twitter.com/hansanq/status/951117384114323456?s=21





	1. hyuken in the backseat

‘if you two are fighting back there don’t think i won’t do what i threatened to,’ hakyeon says mildly from the front car seat, not looking up from his phone; the scuffling in the backseat stops immediately. ‘i really don’t think you two want to wash both dorm bathrooms for a full month.’

hyuk watches the back of hakyeon’s serene head carefully before whispering quietly-fiercely in jaehwan’s ear. ‘this is your fault for breaking his favourite mug.’

‘i wouldn’t have broken his mug if you hadn’t /pushed/ me so that i had to grab the kitchen counter to stop from falling and dying and thereby ACCIDENTALLY knocking his cup off the counter and anyway there is nothing special about that mug i can buy literally a hundred more from daiso but he refu-‘ jaehwan whispers fiercely-quietly back only to cut himself off when hakyeon suddenly turns around. hyuk, in the middle of grabbing at jaehwan’s front-right pants pocket because that’s where jaehwan had just taken and hidden hyuk’s phone merely to annoy him, immediately relaxes against jaehwan’s shoulder and hugs him closer with the arm draped across him while smiling angelically. jaehwan, a hand on hyuk’s arm to try and throw him off, leans his head on top of hyuk’s and affectionally pats hyuk’s arm.

‘aww, look at that, you look so sweet,’ hakyeon beams at them. ‘isn’t this better? more cuddling and less fighting? less beloved mug-breaking? less violence and mayhem and heartbreak?’

‘yes, hyung,’ jaehwan tries to look as innocent and loveable as possible. ‘no fighting. at all.’

‘you look so cute, let me take a picture. cuddle closer.’

‘ah, hyung-‘ hyuk begins in protest, and hakyeon just waits, smile unwavering. hyuk subsides, very aware of the danger in that smile.

‘closer, i said,’ hakyeon orders, phone held up to take the photo. jaehwan and hyuk shimmy closer and hug each other tighter, trying to look as happy and contented as possible. ‘beautiful, my darlings.’

hakyeon settles back into his seat, facing front once more, and hyuk immediately gives jaehwan a vicious pinch in the stomach. jaehwan barely is able to contain his yelp before surreptitiously trying to bite whatever part of hyuk he can reach; but hakyeon starts loudly cooing over something and they both freeze, squishing back together again.

‘the fans love it, look,’ hakyeon turns back to show them his phone where he’s posted the photo of them cuddling on instagram and twitter - in a matter of minutes it’s already got hundreds of replies and comments. ‘i should post another one. hurry. do some other cudding pose.’

‘hyung, this is really not-‘ hyuk begins again, horrified.

‘i said do it,’ hakyeon smiles sweetly.  
jaehwan sighs, turning to backhug hyuk and plastering a contented look on his face.

‘i’m going to kill you,’ he whispers to hyuk nestling comfortably in his arms for a delighted hakyeon and his phone camera.

‘likewise,’ hyuk whispers back.


	2. leobin while someone is crying

hongbin sees taekwoon lift his hand to his eyes for the second time and surreptitiously try to wipe away his tears without making it obvious what he’s doing, and hongbin smiles to himself. pushing up the divider between both their seats hongbin leans over close to whisper in taekwoon’s ear; taekwoon, without taking his eyes off the movie screen, leans in as well.

‘hyung,’ hongbin whispers. ‘it’s okay to cry.’  
taekwoon shoots him a dirty look, the lights from the screen playing over his face. 

i mean, who doesn’t cry at ridiculously sappy romance movies?’

taekwoon moves as far away from hongbin as possible into the other corner of the seat in retaliation, and hongbin grins, hooking an arm around him to drag him close so he can stroke taekwoon’s hair exaggeratedly in comfort. they stay like this in the very back of the cinema - late-night dates in dark places and camouflaged as much as possible sometimes take something away in the way of romance but also sometimes help them carve out tiny private spaces that’s all their own in unexpected ways - until taekwoon relaxes in hongbin’s arms and the intended-to-embarrass hairstroking becomes soft fingers playing with taekwoon’s equally-soft hair. taekwoon’s tears he’s trying and failing to hold back are soaking gently into hongbin’s shirt this way, but hongbin decides he doesn’t mind; unless taekwoon tries to wipe his running nose on him as well. taekwoon shifts into a more comfortable position against hongbin and hongbin drops a featherlight kiss onto the top of taekwoon’s head. silly, sappy hyung.


	3. navi totally romantic

‘you both have bedrooms, you know,’ hongbin says, passing by the sofa on his way to his own room, bag of chips to snack on successfully obtained from the kitchen. 

‘we know,’ hakyeon replies serenely, fingers carding lovingly through wonsik’s hair without stop even as wonsik’s cheeks redden slightly. it still isn’t enough to make wonsik get up from where he’s laying with his head pillowed in hakyeon’s lap as they watch tv, though. hongbin shakes his head and keeps walking. 

‘do you /have/ to?’ sanghyuk complains dramatically thirty minutes later, shrugging off his big winter coat once he makes it inside the door and is confronted with the sight of the two of them; onto the next episode of their drama and now lying together spooning contentedly. 

‘he’s right,’ hakyeon the small spoon twists around to look at big spoon wonsik. ‘lying down and watching tv is bad for our eyes. we should sit up.’

they sit up and hakyeon wriggles his way in between wonsik’s legs so they’re sitting in a loose backhug, wonsik’s arms forming a perfect warm cocoon around his body. 

‘is this better, hyukkie?’ hakyeon asks.   
sanghyuk rolls his eyes.

when taekwoon and jaehwan come home the tv drama has been abandoned and wonsik and hakyeon are lying together again whispering softly, legs entangled and eyes for no one else. wonsik smiles at something hakyeon said and they share a quick kiss before continuing whispering, completely ignoring taekwoon clearing his throat loudly. it’s only when jaehwan starts intrusively pretending to take paparazzi pictures of them that hakyeon looks around and blinks blissfully, hand on wonsik’s cheek mid-caress. 

‘oh, you’re home?’

taekwoon mimes throwing up and goes off to bathe. 

‘i want to be loved like that,’ jaehwan whines as he tails taekwoon into the house, and taekwoon walks faster.


	4. kenvi in public

‘don’t forget where you put the tickets again like last time,’ jaehwan nags, and wonsik hums agreement into his neck where he’s buried his face for a second before settling his chin back on jaehwan’s shoulder as they queue for popcorn. ‘i’m still mad about how you only found our tickets for ‘thor’ after we’d given up and gone home.’

‘they’re in my pocket,’ wonsik rumbles affectionately, hearing rather than seeing jaehwan’s pout. ‘i won’t lose them this time. what kind of popcorn do you want?’

‘as if you don’t know,’ jaehwan answers sharply, and wonsik tightens his arms around jaehwan’s waist to squeeze him, laughing. when they reach the front of the queue the cashier smiles and nods at them.

‘would you like to try our couple’s combo promotion? one large popcorn to share and two drinks for the price of one, plus two heart-shaped cookies.’

they stare at her. 

‘what?’ wonsik finds his voice finally. 

‘it’s our promotion for valentine’s day that’s coming soon. for couples only.’

‘we-‘ jaehwan looks at wonsik, and wonsik looks back at him, then the cashier. ‘we’re not a couple!’

‘are you sure?’ someone behind them in the queue sniggers, and wonsik removes his arms from around jaehwan’s waist in order to turn around and glare properly. 

‘i’m sorry!’ the cashier says hurriedly, blushing. ‘you guys were cuddling, i- sorry. i’m sorry. what would you like?’

‘a large sweet popcorn and large coke,’ jaehwan says primly, while wonsik hands over the money to the embarrassed cashier. 

‘wonder where she got that idea,’ jaehwan scoffs as they walk off, wonsik feeding him popcorn and jaehwan guiding wonsik over to the right cinema with one hand in wonsik’s right backpocket.


	5. leohyuk post-coital

taekwoon runs both hands through his hair luxuriantly before lifting himself up and climbing off sanghyuk, sanghyuk’s hands guiding his hips loosely. he tumbles down in a very satisfied panting heap next to a similarly blissed-out sanghyuk; irresistible heat and fireworks as always. taekwoon has stopped questioning how it could possibly be this good every single time, forcing himself to just enjoy it and enjoy sanghyuk. 

and /as always/, sanghyuk stays just a minute longer before pushing himself up and making to roll off the bed, aiming for the bathroom so he can wash up and leave. taekwoon has also stopped questioning why sanghyuk never wants to stay the night, or at least he tries very hard not to -

sanghyuk looks surprised down at taekwoon’s hand on his arm, and then at taekwoon as taekwoon tugs him back down insistently. ‘not so fast. just stay with me a little while.’

‘i’m sweaty, hyung, i want to shower-‘

‘just a few minutes. please? i’ll let you go after that.’

taekwoon’s heart is beating too quickly for his liking, anticipating the moment sanghyuk refuses and gets up anyway; or gets annoyed and leaves with distaste. taekwoon doesn’t want to be clingy - he knows they’re not dating, or in any way romantic - but there’s something in him that deflates disappointedly every time sanghyuk gets up first to leave his bed. 

sanghyuk hesitates, and taekwoon is almost ready to just let him go like he clearly wants to when sanghyuk awkwardly lies back down and lifts an arm so taekwoon can put his head on sanghyuk’s chest and curl up against him. they really are sweaty - good sex doesn’t have to be fast or passionate to be good but they’ve never been able to take it slow - and sanghyuk is lying so still taekwoon wishes he hadn’t said anything now. but sanghyuk is warm against him, as is his arm around taekwoon, and taekwoon can’t help dropping a small kiss onto sanghyuk’s collarbone. 

‘do you want to have dinner with me tomorrow?’ taekwoon asks, knowing he’s pushing it. 

sanghyuk stops mid-breath.


	6. rabin totally platonic

hongbin is a light sleeper and he wakes up at the littlest things; living with five other boys in a small dorm is therefore not easy. the others know this and try their best to be quiet around him and not disturb his sleep - sleep is hard enough to come by these days as their debut date races ever closer that thinking of him not being able to steal barely-enough rest whenever there’s a lull in their training and recording and practice makes them feel bad. so it’s unusual for someone to be wriggling into hongbin’s bed at this time; rolling hongbin further inwards so he’s budged up near the wall his bed is set against when he wakes up abruptly to an arm around him holding him tight and a face pressed between his shoulder blades.

‘what-‘ he begins, voice thick with sleep. ‘who-‘

‘it’s me,’ wonsik answers, muffled. ‘i’m sorry, just - ignore me. i’ll be gone soon.’ wonsik’s voice is thick for a different reason; unshed tears tightening his throat.

‘what happened?’ hongbin asks carefully, slowly becoming more awake. wonsik is hugging hongbin to him more tightly than he needs to, as if the force of his hug can hold back his emotion.

wonsik explains in halting bits - and hongbin tries his best to understand because between wonsik’s deep voice and tears threatening to spill at any moment it’s not easy to figure out what he’s saying. parents not doing well financially - have a debt - something about selling something - wonsik feeling guilty he doesn’t know when he can help them out - and wonsik ends with a big, deep breath to calm himself that he lets out against hongbin’s back, hongbin feeling the warmth of it through his thin pajamas.

his only same-aged friend in this group he’s still coming to know and coming to terms with knowing they’re going to be stuck together for the foreseeable future; hongbin wonders why wonsik came to him and not hakyeon hyung. hakyeon hyung would know what to say to comfort wonsik, unlike hongbin. hakyeon hyung always has the right words and right solutions.

not knowing what else to do he stays quiet, letting wonsik hold him, and quietly puts a hand over wonsik’s loosely curled in his pajama shirt over hongbin’s heart. maybe this is enough, he hopes earnestly as they breathe together. what would hakyeon hyung do?

wonsik lets him go a few peaceful minutes later, sniffling a bit.

‘thanks, bin,’ wonsik whispers in the dark. ‘i feel better.’

‘goodnight, then, and let me sleep.’ wonsik laughs as hongbin hoped he would; the sound welcome.


	7. leohyuk just waking up

‘hyung, wake up,’ sanghyuk jiggles taekwoon, none-too-gently. 

‘bzuh?’ 

‘wake up, you have to help me. i’m being attacked by an octopus.

’wha- ‘topus-‘

taekwoon dazedly blinks as he tries to untangle himself from sanghyuk, draped half-on top of and half-curled around, trying to look for an octopus in bed with them because in his sleepy state he isn’t questioning the credibility of what sanghyuk is telling him. ‘where- ‘topus-‘

‘it has a name. starts with ‘taek’ and ends with ‘woon’. has really long arms and uses them to entrap young handsome men.’

taekwoon stops midway trying to sit up, unimpressed and now fully awake. 

‘if sleeping with me is such a trial for you-‘

‘yes?’ sanghyuk says encouragingly. 

‘-i’ll sleep in my own bed from now on.’

‘finally i’m free!’ sanghyuk crows in triumph, punching the air excitedly and gesturing politely towards the door. ‘may i help you out of bed and to your own room, sir?’

‘no,’ taekwoon says obstinately. ‘i’m staying here forever now. just to spite you.’

‘what! you just said you’re leaving!’

‘too bad.’

sanghyuk collapses back onto the bed in a heap of mock-despair, and taekwoon latches on to his back like the octopus he is, even curling his leg around sanghyuk’s waist to stick extra close. they stay like that, taekwoon stroking the skin of sanghyuk’s stomach under his shirt until his fingers still, almost asleep once again. 

‘hyung,’ sanghyuk rumbles. 

‘what,’ taekwoon mumbles. 

‘it’s too hot with the heating on in the room for you to be holding me this close.’

‘too bad.’

‘you’re making me sweaty.’

‘deal with it.’

‘i’m really going to ban you from sleeping with me.’

‘no, you won’t.’

‘i /will/.’

‘you won’t. you like me too much.’

‘who told you that?’

‘you did. last night. you were very affectionate.’

‘must have been an imposter.’

‘i’m not letting go. so suck it up.’

sanghyuk heaves a long-suffering sigh, entwining his fingers with taekwoon’s that are pinching him underneath his shirt, taekwoon somehow managing to snuggle even closer in contentment. 

‘you really like me. admit it.’

‘the fact that i havent thrown you out yet and am letting you barnacle yourself to me like this night after night should tell you enough.’

‘exactly. you really like me.’


	8. hyuken between strangers

sanghyuk steps into the lift and immediately feels every nerve ending he possesses go on high alert. The Guy From Level Six in standing in the corner checking his phone, which sanghyuk by every right shouldn’t be surprised by considering it’s 1145am and this is when The Guy From Level Six always goes for his early lunch and is the precise reason why sanghyuk braves his boss’s wrath to leave his own seat early every day to go for lunch as well so that he can spend a glorious two minutes in the lift with The Guy From Level Six (very beautiful, very long legs, very good hair). sanghyuk takes a much-needed deep breath. he’s proud of what he’s found out about The Guy so far; he’s always in the lift first, which means he gets on at the level above sanghyuk since there are only six floors in the building. level six is where the homecare brands sit, so The Guy is either working with a shampoo, detergent or oralcare brand. he must be at least 25 because they don’t give fresh-out-of-university trainees (like him) spots in the homecare brands - 

sanghyuk’s ecstatic thoughts come to a screeching halt when the lift jerks jarringly, making them stagger unglamourously. the lights go off and sanghyuk hears The Guy gasp in shock, his own breathing become erratic at the sudden lift malfunction. several seconds pass in silence in the dark interior of the lift, The Guy gasping again when the emergency backup lights switch on with a clank. they look at each other in the low orange light and sanghyuk wonders if his guardian angel may not be actually a guardian devil. this was Not how he’d imagined spending some time alone with The Guy. 

‘um,’ The Guy says self-consciously. ‘what should we do? should we call the emergency number?’

oh, The Guy has such a lovely speaking voice; and he seems more than a little nervous at this turn of events which sanghyuk would happen to find rather endearing if he were not so alarmed himself.   
sanghyuk clears his throat, trying to make sure he sounds manly and in-control when he speaks. ‘yeah, maybe we should-‘

the lift jerks and falls through the shaft for less than two seconds but sanghyuk agrees heartily with the shriek The Guy lets out because it is terrifying as /fuck/. they have barely a second’s reprieve when the lift falls another metre or so and The Guy launches himself into sanghyuk’s arms where they clutch at each other desperately, The Guy repeating a litany of ‘idontwantodieidontwanttodieidontwanttodie’. 

sanghyuk slowly opens his eyes after nothing happens for ten heartbeats or so, The Guy’s face buried in his shoulder and fists clenched in his shirt. definitely, definitely a guardian devil. 

‘i think we need to call the emergency number,’ sanghyuk whispers urgently, and The Guy raises his head and looks down at the floor where he’d dropped his phone the first time the lift had lurched. 

‘okay,’ The Guy says, not moving and not letting go. 

after a moment sanghyuk crab-walks them towards The Guy’s phone and they both awkwardly bend down so The Guy can scoop up his phone and peer at the hotline number on the lift wall panel in order to dial it.

everything else considered, sanghyuk thinks as he holds The Guy like for all intents and purposes they are any other couple cuddling on a date, things are going pretty well for a first meeting. 

The Guy talks to the person who picks up and pleads for them to come quickly, and then a few moments after he hangs up he appears to re-evaluate the circumstances he’s found himself in, being cradled gently in the arms of a stranger. 

‘um,’ he starts looking between them, and sanghyuk is loathe to let go; almost as loathe as The Guy seems to have sanghyuk let go of him in case the lift decides to start plummeting once more. ‘hi. i guess - my name is jaehwan. lee jaehwan. sorry.’

‘han sanghyuk,’ says sanghyuk, wondering if it would be inappropriate to start grinning like an idiot.


	9. chabin reluctantly

hongbin squares his shoulders and takes a deep breath before opening the door and beginning to greet the staff he sees on his way deeper into the studio, plastering his trademark beautiful dimpled smile on his face while inside he’s roiling with dread. of all people to have to do a shoot with. of ALL PEOPLE out of ALL the other models in korea, hongbin had to get Him. 

he goes to greet the photographer and is quickly ushered to the makeup and hair corner, and hongbin’s stomach does an impressive combo of both clenching hard as well as dropping right into his designer shoes. well, there he is. might as well get this over as soon as possible. 

hongbin bows quickly without a word - because of course hakyeon has to be both his industry senior and older than him, putting hongbin in an immediately socially submissive position - and sits in his chair, wondering how far he can go desperately ignoring hakyeon before tongues start to wag. 

‘binnie,’ hakyeon smiles, looking extremely pleased to see him as if this was a lovely chance meeting instead of a scheduled shoot they’ve both known about for a month. ‘you look good. i’m so happy we’re working together today.’

‘me too,’ hongbin mutters, bowing his head again. he tries not to look at hakyeon’s mouth or his long legs crossed in front of him as a stylist works on his hair, hakyeon managing to look flawless as ever even before being made up. hongbin averts his eyes and closes them, thankfully letting his makeup artist get to work; but no, hakyeon wants to /talk/. 

‘i’ve missed you, binnie. we hardly get to see each other anymore. why don’t you come out with me whenever i ask you? you hurt my feelings,’ hakyeon smiles easily. ‘i insist we go for dinner after the shoot.’

hongbin frowns, despite the flare of longing that blooms inside him. ‘i think i’m going to be busy.’

‘the shoot will probably end at two or three in the morning. what do you have to do at that time?’

‘i’m cleaning my house.’

‘no, you’re not. you’re coming for dinner with me.’ 

hongbin tries not to squirm in his seat in pleasure. ‘fine, sunbaenim.’

‘what’s all this ‘sunbaenim’? you know i told you to call me hyung. go on, say it. ‘hakyeon hyung’. do it for me?’

hongbin is so glad he doesn’t blush easily. ‘okay, hyung.’

‘much better,’ hakyeon smiles at him again in the mirror, and hongbin knows he’s doomed. 

the shoot is hell - intimate poses, heads on each other’s chests, arms around each other, sprawled on a rich carpet - nothing out of the ordinary, really, for either one of them, and with any other partner it would have been another unremarkable work day. but when you’re trying hard to conceal a ridiculously huge crush on your famous industry senior partner so you can somehow keep your pride intact but said partner has sensed it from the get-go like he has some kind of radar and does his best non-stop to try to come on to you at every turn; well. 

‘your heart is going really fast,’ hakyeon murmurs from where he’s lying loosely in hongbin’s arms, one hand on hongbin’s chest like he’s pushing hongbin away. push and pull, hongbin thinks. ‘what’s wrong, binnie?’

hongbin knows the photos will come out great. they’re both good models and know how to work the clothes they’re given and their angles for the camera, but hongbin isn’t sure he’s going to ever recover from this. he gives himself points for being able to stay professional, however, this close to hakyeon he can smell hakyeon’s expensive cologne. 

‘modelling makes me excited,’ hongbin answers stubbornly. 

‘does it?’ hakyeon replies, and hongbin isn’t looking at hakyeon but he can hear the grin in his voice. hakyeon half-closes the hand on hongbin’s chest into a fist, lightly scratching hongbin’s skin with his nails before placing his hand flat once more. ‘me too, but only when i model with you.’

‘can you sit up and then get closer, please?’ the photographer calls out.

/no!!/ hongbin’s mind yells. 

hongbin takes a deep breath. ‘yes.’


	10. rabin reunion

‘i think we’re officially being disgusting now,’ hongbin whispers into the space between their bodies, anything louder feeling like it will burst the warm special bubble of just-you-and-me they’re existing in. no dancers, no cameramen, no stylists and managers and makeup artists, no fans and no members after being surrounded by all of these people for three weeks apart; wonsik lays his hand against hongbin’s cheek and squishes it slightly in answer.

they’ve been lying together like this in hongbin’s bed for more than an hour doing nothing but talking softly and holding each other, doing what wonsik thinks of as soul recharging. being apart due to LR’s activities in japan is an evil necessarily endured for the sake of work; hongbin supposes one or two hours spent being gloriously sappy to make up for days and days without each other’s anchoring presence is nothing at all. 

‘the only person who would call a cuddling couple disgusting is you, and you happen to currently be part of this cuddling couple. so too bad,’ wonsik scolds, dragging his palm from hongbin’s cheek to cover hongbin’s eyes. hongbin retaliates by licking wonsik’s palm, and wonsik pulls hongbin closer while wiping hongbin’s saliva off on the back of his shirt. 

‘i love you so much. i missed you so much.’

‘you said that already,’ hongbin says, beaming. 

‘well, now you get to hear it again.’ 

wonsik starts telling hongbin something that happened in japan during one of the post-concert briefings, hongbin not so much listening to the words but to his deep rumbly voice and watching the way his eyebrows move as he talks. it is a wholesome simple happiness. 

‘did you miss me?’

‘not at all,’ hongbin says, running a hand up and down wonsik’s arm just to feel him. ‘i didn’t even know you were gone.’

‘heartless.’

‘not true. my heart is right here.’ hongbin picks up wonsik’s hand and puts it to his chest to feel his heartbeats, then brings wonsik’s fingers to his mouth to kiss them. 

the words don’t matter, the silly banter just filler while the actual heartwork of being together takes place. slowly they become aware of a rustling outside the door, and then a few seconds later two quiet knocks. 

‘boys, dinner,’ hakyeon calls out careful not to be too loud. ‘do you want to eat?’

‘soon,’ wonsik replies, the same time hongbin cries out ‘no!’ and then laughs at being so at-odds with wonsik. 

‘later, hyung,’ hongbin adjusts his answer, and they hear hakyeon’s footsteps retreating. 

‘let’s go get food and come back here,’ wonsik murmurs. ‘let’s stay in bed till tomorrow.’ 

hongbin kisses him chaste and sweet and long, then bites his lower lip.


	11. kenvi between strangers

‘changryulie? i know it’s you! how is it you never come and visit me, you naughty boy! what would your mother say if i told her? stop making that other woman’s bed and come here.’

jaehwan looks around at the old lady’s strident voice and freezes when he realises she’s looking straight at him with an exasperated look on her face. her daughter and grandson, both come to visit her, look equal parts confused and alarmed.

‘well? come and say hello!’ she scolds, and jaehwan truly doesn’t know what to do. the elderly people in the sector of the old folks’ home he’s assigned to for his nursing duties frequently have memory issues, but this is the first time he’s been mistaken as some kind of misbehaving relative; at least this explains why ever since this lady has started living here two weeks ago she’s been staring at him like she’s scrutinising him inside out. there’s no one else in the two-person room at the moment because the other occupant has gone out for a walk, so at least there’s only two people to see his embarrassment. he looks down at the bed he’s making and then back at the family, and finally registers the pleading look on the face of the mother. 

‘yes, changryul, please come say hi to your grandmother,’ she says meaningfully, mouthing the words ‘i’m so sorry’ and ‘please’ behind the old woman’s back.

‘..hello... halmeoni..’ he says slowly, putting down the pillowcase and coming over awkwardly to bow - oh, no, she’s holding her arms out for a hug - and quickly slide into what he hopes is a suitably convincing grandson hug, wondering where this is going to lead. 

‘and what about your aunt and cousin?’  
jaehwan can feel his face heating up as he hugs first the mother, who thankfully makes it quick, and then stops awkwardly in front of his supposed cousin, a handsome man about his age who looks as sheepish as he feels. they go in for a bro hug which is only slightly less embarrassing than a real hug, and then jaehwan stands there not knowing what else to do. 

‘changryul is very busy, eomeoni, he has to go back to work,’ the mother says, trying to release jaehwan as quicky as possible. 

‘really? he just got here. why does he need to leave so fast?’

‘his boss wants to see him,’ the grandson - the real one - puts in with the air of having just had a great idea. ‘he has to leave fast because if he’s not at work when his boss arrives he will be in trouble. he’ll come visit you when he can, halmeoni.’

‘then at least take a photo first. i want to put it in my photo album,’ the old lady says, smiling at jaehwan. ‘come on, wonsikkie. like the sweet way you used to pose together as children.’

‘halmeoni-‘ /wonsikkie/ begins protesting, jaehwan suspiciously watching the mother barely manage to suppress a laugh. ‘we’ll just pose normally, halmeoni. it’s embarrassing. we don’t take photos like that anymore.’

‘do it for me,’ the old lady says, as final as a judge’s criminal sentence. ‘jinsil, use wonsikkie’s phone. he has a better camera than yours does,’ orders the empress dowager to her daughter as wonsik turns to jaehwan in despair and begins to whisper quickly.

‘i’m really sorry, but for some reason when we were kids we took every photo together hugging. we were very close. i mean- me and the real changryul, not you. i’m so sorry, but just - hug me and turn towards the camera with your cheek pressed against mine.’

jaehwan stares, feeling his blush crank up another notch. ‘what?’

‘come on, boys! what are you waiting for?’

wonsik gives jaehwan a /let’s get this over and done with/ look and holds out his arms. they get comfortable though jaehwan has to stretch up slightly to match the height of wonsik’s cheek - not only handsome but also delicious-smelling, jaehwan thinks, dying a little more inside - and they smile glassily waiting for jinsil, wonsik’s mother, to figure out how to take the photo on her son’s android phone. 

what are the odds, jaehwan muses. here i am in the arms of a hot guy because some half-batty old lady thinks i’m her grandson. 

‘okay, done,’ jinsil says, smiling, and wonsik quickly lets go of jaehwan with a muttered ‘sorry’. 

‘what a lovely photo!’ the old lady exclaims, squinting at wonsik’s phone. ‘changryulie, don’t you want a copy? wonsik, you have his number, don’t you? so you can send it to him?’

‘um-‘ wonsik hesitates a moment too long. 

‘i’ve never heard of such a thing! cousins, not knowing how to contact each other? what is happening to this family? jinsil-ah, are you not speaking to your sister? why does her son not have your son’s number-‘

‘i just changed my phone and forgot to give it to him!’ jaehwan cries quickly, ‘it’s my fault. i’ll give him my number now.’

jinsil looks wonderfully relieved to have her mother’s tirade cut short as jaehwan starts reciting his number for wonsik to input in his phone. 

‘good. now make sure you don’t forget to send it to him.’

‘i won’t, halmeoni,’ wonsik says meekly, sounding bamboozled. ‘now changryul /really/ has to leave for work.’

‘goodbye, my dear,’ the old lady says, holding out her arms for another hug before jaehwan is allowed to finally escape. 

standing outside the room jaehwan half-wants to laugh and half-needs to take deep calming breaths for what he’s just been through, hoping his blush will disappear by the time he reaches the next room he has to make up. as he fans his face, walking off, he feels his phone in his pocket vibrate. 

\- thank you for not bursting my grandmothers bubble, and im so sorry once again. heres the photo lol a souvenir for you

jaehwan grins at how ridiculous they look holding each other in the photo, and on a whim saves it. 

\- thanks, wonsikkie. ;)

the reply comes immediately.   
\- omg pls dont call me that!!

jaehwan slides his phone back into his pocket with a secret internal smile. this was a conversation definitely to be continued later.


	12. chabin with a first kiss

part of him wants hakyeon to look rattled; being unable to meet his eyes, maybe, or a hand clammier than it should be. he wants to see that hakyeon is as uncomfortable and nervous and dying inside just like he is at the thought of the scene they have to shoot, but knowing hakyeon he will be nothing of the sort. hakyeon is a consummate professional, and hongbin doesn’t have the right to want him to break character or spoil the shoot for something as trivial as inconvenient feelings.

they’d broken up for real more than a year ago after numerous tries at making it work and hongbin wonders which of them had been the romantic, thinking a secret gay relationship between two busy actors could possibly flourish with the kind of schedules they had. real life is not something that you can ‘choose’ to let affect you, and a relationship can only be conducted for so long over the phone and through rushed clandestine meetings away from paparazzi weeks apart. if put on record he’d say it had been hakyeon, but the truth was both of them had desperately clawed at hope to keep them afloat until the inevitable happened; c’est la vie, hongbin thinks. it’s not like they were naïve teenagers. 

maybe their history will help give their scene even more chemistry.

it’s a kiss scene, of course; a dream sequence at the start of the drama episode played for laughs where the main character (hakyeon) starts off kissing a woman who morphs into a handsome man (hongbin, playing himself) to provide hilarious gay panic. ah, this progressive industry. ah, the sheer irony and cruelty of reality. 

when hongbin arrives on set from his own dressing room hakyeon looks as smooth and unruffled as if he were about to perform mouth-to-mouth on a dummy. in a way, hongbin thinks, he is. 

hongbin literally has only five to six seconds on screen before hakyeon is supposed to open his eyes and realise whom he’s kissing and then the dream ends - but for hongbin it feels like an eternity from the moment he exchanges polite bows and situationally-appropriately-embarrassed greetings with hakyeon (officially, they’ve never met; and here they have to kiss each other! ha ha! what a job for such straight men. it’s all Good Fun) and is positioned by the camera people, ready to be held and kissed by his ex. he thanks every star in the sky that it’s just going to be a typical drama-style closed-mouth kiss, and for only five seconds. he can pretend for five seconds. 

hakyeon smells the same as he did, one year ago. his lips feel the same as they did, one year ago, as does his arms around hongbin. hongbin turns himself into glass, into stone, and survives the second and third takes as well.

everything lasts less than ten minutes before he comes back to life and finds he is back in his dressing room and his makeup artist has started to bust out the cleansing oil. he lives! he didn’t embarrass himself! he gave nothing away!

\- i feel like i should msg you after what we just had to do, but i’m not sure what to say. it was very good to see you, binnie. i’ve missed you more than i realised. 

the text he gets from hakyeon later that night undoes all the sense of proud composure he has built up since he left the set. his fingers hover over the screen, his brain coming up empty for what to reply. i miss you too? it was good to see you too? 

\- how are you?  
is what he settles for asking, thinking it helpfully sidesteps the entire issue of addressing any emotion entirely. hakyeon continues the conversation, and for a few minutes it’s too easy to pretend it is a familiar scene from a year ago - hakyeon filming somewhere and texting him in between scenes, them making up imaginary plans to meet up soon and hongbin veiling everything ridiculous he cannot show or tell hakyeon into mundane conversation. i love you; i miss you so much it hurts me; i want you to come home; i want to run away with you somewhere we can be alone - did hongbin ever tell hakyeon any of this?

\- if you have time this week or the next- shall we meet?

hongbin swallows.   
\- yes. i would like that. 

\- i’m so happy you said yes! shall we go to - you know where?

hongbin knows. it is - was - their favourite restaurant, the one with the sympathetic owner who took every care to make sure they had all the privacy they needed. it was where hongbin had first fallen in love with hakyeon. 

\- sure. let me know when you are free.  
hongbin types in reply, heart rising. he’s ready to pick up where they left off.


	13. kenvi totally romantic

jaehwan tentatively takes his hand, and wonsik tries to ignore the slamming of his heart as he lets jaehwan finally entwine their fingers firmly together with a bravado both of them are trying very hard to feel. acting nonchalant, like they do this every day in public; even though they are surrounded by crowds who don’t give them a second look and are passing by some people as they walk who are full-on making out without a care in the world. no, not just people; gay people, gay couples of every orientation.

jaehwan’s fingers are cold, and so are his, but the small smile that jaehwan lifts to his face is bright. their friends are walking with them, ahead and behind, and when they finally find a place empty enough at the roadside railings for all of them to squeeze into to watch the parade jubilantly pass by jaehwan impulsively folds himself into wonsik, back to wonsik’s front as he pulls wonsik’s arms around him. they can’t fully understand the language of most of the people around them - just snatches of mandarin that they can make out from when they used to have to learn it for when they performed and promoted in hongkong or taiwan or china - and it adds to the feeling of having fallen into an alien world where they can hold each other like this openly without fear, but that’s why they’re here; taiwan’s pride parade continues to surge ahead in front of their eyes and around them. colourful and loud and crowded; out and proud.

are they out and proud? wonsik wonders, and the familiar fear twists his heart. he’s not sure what they’re going to meet with after this when they go back to korea - it’s too much to hope nobody will have recognised them, or taken photos of them. they’re no longer idols, of course - that life is long behind them both - but they’re still names in the entertainment industry almost ten years after vixx’s amicable disbanding. jaehwan is a top name in the korean musical scene and wonsik owns his own music label; things are not as they were when they were at the peak of their idol career and they are both old enough now not to care as much what the public thinks, but total acceptance some days feels still a very long way away. everyone in the industry more or less knows about them by now of course but that is a very different matter from having their relationship splashed with disrespect across the front pages of all the tabloid newspapers. 

‘wonsik?’ 

he blinks at jaehwan’s mischievous upturned face and sees the wrinkles at the corner of his eyes. ‘laugh lines!’ he can hear jaehwan telling him warningly, and smiles inwardly. they’d just celebrated jaehwan’s forty-second birthday. 

‘aren’t we too old to be cuddling like teenagers?’

wonsik tightens his arms around jaehwan and buries the tip of his nose in jaehwan’s hair. 

‘we’ve got a lot of time to make up for,’ wonsik murmurs.

‘hmm?’ jaehwan asks, again turning back to look at him, and wonsik stops thinking. he kisses jaehwan for the first time in public, with his arms around him, with their matching rings glinting in the taiwan sun, and knows jaehwan doesn’t know whether to be happy or embarrassed so he makes sure he’s holding jaehwan tight enough that jaehwan can’t wriggle away. faster than he expected jaehwan relaxes in his arms, and the world stops. they’re young again, falling in love, kissing for the first time, and that memory fits itself sweetly over this first kiss twenty years later on foreign soil. 

‘yucks,’ jaehwan says after, predictably, leaning back into wonsik’s chest. ‘so sappy.’

wonsik can see him smiling.


	14. leobin in the water/bath

how often have you managed to be in the perfect place at the exact perfect time?

it’s been sunny the whole day so the water is gorgeously warm silk against their skin, and the impending sunset of golden hour means the sun is no longer scorching but caressing; everything is lit up beautifully soft. golden light against hongbin’s skin and hair, warm water lapping around their shoulders, peaceful quiet in the air. taekwoon wants to keep this in his heart forever. 

the lake in the far corner of the grounds is rumoured to have a mutated runt kaiju hiding in its depths, kept there for extreme end-level training - they both know it’s nothing but mischief started by long-gone senior pilots to scare young green rookies. it means, however, that they’ve got this part of the lake to themselves, and taekwoon holds hongbin tighter as they drift slowly treading water. it’s an utterly perfect moment. taekwoon feels like they are floating weightless through time together like this, eternal, always-i-will-find-you, as close as two people can be through the mindmelding of drift-compatible soulmates. they’re now, and they’re forever. taekwoon smiles to himself out of pure heartwrenching happiness and kisses the wet skin of hongbin’s neck.

hongbin is sleepy from swimming in the warm water all afternoon, and he moves lazily to rest his chin on taekwoon’s shoulder. taekwoon knows hongbin’s eyelashes are wet, and contentment fills him knowing that he can picture hongbin’s drowsy face exactly; he knows all of hongbin’s faces. 

‘hyung,’ sanghyuk’s reluctant voice breaks into the memory, and taekwoon immediately is pulled back into the cockpit with an unwelcome lurch of his stomach. the whole memory took seconds to flash across his mind but sanghyuk saw and felt everything; he avoids looking over at his new copilot. he turns away from the view of the lake through the eyes of their jaeger - he is not in the water with hongbin; there are barriers and barriers between that taekwoon and the taekwoon sitting once more in the jaeger he thought he’d never get into again - and focuses on continuing their customary first journey together around the training grounds all new copilots took as an initial functional check of their drift compatibility. so far so good. one foot in front of the other.


	15. hyuken in lieu of kissing

the sneeze is so ferocious it almost breaks the sound barrier and sanghyuk glares round at jaehwan. he’d nearly dropped his cup; jaehwan stares pitifully back at him from watery eyes. 

‘hyung, go and lie down!’

‘i don’t want to be alone. what if i die?’

‘you’re not going to die from the flu.’

‘watch me.’

jaehwan sniffles thickly, every inch the suffering child, and wraps himself up tighter in - sanghyuk yelps. 

‘you’re getting germs all over my sweater! you have so many sweaters, why do you need to borrow mine?’

‘can’t you even lend me a sweater to keep myself warm when i’m dying-‘ jaehwan protests plaintively, following sanghyuk from the kitchen back to sanghyuk’s room holding on to the hem of his shirt like a little snot-filled duckling. 

he follows sanghyuk every step sanghyuk takes with the longest saddest face ever made until he completely attaches himself to sanghyuk’s back with another sneeze, right into sanghyuk’s shirt. 

‘hyung.’

jaehwan just whines. he’s burning up and his head is stuffy and his nose won’t stop running and all he wants is some affection, damn it. 

he feels sanghyuk sigh and then turn, gently pushing him towards the bed and then into it. sanghyuk pulls up his blanket and tucks jaehwan in, and then to jaehwan’s immense satisfaction sanghyuk gets into bed beside him. 

‘love me a little,’ he says in a small voice, cuddling up to sanghyuk. ‘i’m dying.’

‘you’re not dying,’ sanghyuk replies, stroking his hair and feeling his temperature. ‘but you probably do need to see a doctor.’

‘kiss me.’

‘i’m not kissing you. i don’t want your germs.’

‘what happened to ‘for better or worse, in sickness and in health’?’

‘last i checked, we weren’t married.’

‘you should marry me. then if i die i’ll give you all my anime.’

‘i have enough anime of my own.’

jaehwan can hear the smile in sanghyuk’s voice as sanghyuk continues to stroke jaehwan’s hair, and jaehwan snuggles closer. 

‘please kiss me.’

‘no. i’ll hold you instead. but don’t you dare sneeze at me.’

‘can you hold me.. naked?’

sanghyuk doesn’t even bother to reply. 

‘please? i have a fever, as you said. i should try to cool down. i’m wearing too many clothes. and your clothes are making me heat up more.’

‘why are you always so annoying when you’re sick?’

‘i’m /dying/!’ jaehwan wails, and sanghyuk kisses his forehead in compromise. his lips feel cool against jaehwan’s feverish skin, and jaehwan upturns his face for more kisses. 

‘no. just cuddling.’

‘when i die then you will realise.’

‘quoting jaden smith won’t help you.’

‘who?’

he can feel the radiations of sanghyuk’s usual ‘dealing with my boyfriend’ blend of half-frustration half-amusement and wriggles such that every available part of him is plastered against sanghyuk. 

‘i love you.’

‘i love you too.’

‘kiss me.’

‘no.’


	16. hyuken for comfort + out of necessity

it’s about a minute before sanghyuk realises jaehwan isn’t listening to him. he cuts himself off mid-play and looks over at jaehwan, who was /supposed/ to be watching sanghyuk play through this level of their game but instead is holding his phone loosely in his lap and staring out in front of him with hurt and disbelief written all over his face. 

‘hyung?’

jaehwan turns to look at sanghyuk only after a beat, and sanghyuk is horrified to see unshed tears shining in jaehwan’s eyes. jaehwan blinks furiously once he belatedly realises he’s teared up, and drops his phone in order to press the heels of his palms into his eyes. 

‘hyung,’ sanghyuk repeats, putting down his game controller and tentatively putting a hand on jaehwan’s shoulder.

‘what is it? what happened?’

jaehwan slides sideways towards sanghyuk without removing his hands from his face, and it’s only natural for sanghyuk to gather him up in his arms and hold him while jaehwan sits there unsettlingly still and quiet, trying to breathe evenly. he mumbles something after a minute or two, sanghyuk panicking silently because he’s used to jaehwan being a whirlwind of emotion but this feels heavy and serious, and sanghyuk has been caught by surprise. 

‘he just dumped me,’ jaehwan says again, more clearly this time, in response to sanghyuk’s carefully-modulated sound of inquiry. ‘through a fucking text.’

sanghyuk picks up jaehwan’s phone and unlocks it (of course he knows jaehwan’s passcode; like he knows jaehwan’s moods and favourite colour and every one of jaehwan’s different smiles) and reads through the most recent messages in the kakaotalk chat room the phone opens to. the messages are short - curt; blunt - and leave no room for interpretation or negotiation. not that jaehwan would beg; he hadn’t even replied to the final message from his boyf - no, /ex/ boyfriend, now.

‘that’s harsh,’ sanghyuk murmurs for lack of the right words to say, his head swirling, jaehwan still warm against his chest, hair tickling his nose. 

jaehwan takes a deep breath. ‘it’s fine. it’s not like i didn’t know what he’s like. i’m fine.’

but he doesn’t move away, and sanghyuk holds him a little tighter, gently laying his cheek on top of jaehwan’s head. jaehwan doesn’t cry but he stays unmoving in sanghyuk’s arms, silent and unresponsive; sanghyuk tries to talk to him a few times to distract him or make him unload about what he’s feeling, but jaehwan only gives him short answers. he’s not being rude, but - he’s not okay. 

‘did you like him that much?’ sanghyuk asks softly, and jaehwan turns to press his face into sanghyuk’s neck and says something too soft and tired for sanghyuk to hear but the little puffs of his warm breath against sanghyuk’s skin are enough answer. jaehwan sighs with his whole body. 

‘fuck him, hyung,’ sanghyuk says with feeling, sanghyuk’s own heart burning. ‘fuck. him.’

-

‘i’ve got an idea,’ jaehwan announces the next morning at breakfast, and sanghyuk looks askance at him. jaehwan’s no longer tired and defeated the way he was last night; there’s a fire in his eyes today that sanghyuk knows he should be worried about. ‘look at this.’

he brandishes his phone in front of sanghyuk’s face and sanghyuk sees it is an instagram photo of jaehwan’s ex at what looks like a restaurant, sitting rather cosily with some guy sanghyuk doesn’t recognise. sanghyuk reads the caption and raises his eyebrows at jaehwan. 

‘“to new beginnings”,’ jaehwan parrots sardonically. ‘as you so eloquently put it last night, fuck. him. who the fuck does he think i am?’

sanghyuk wisely keeps quiet. 

‘if he’s going to rub it in my face then i’m going to do the same. he’s not the only one who can get another man so quickly.’  
sanghyuk wants very badly to agree, but there is one rather pressing point. 

‘but you don’t have another man, hyung,’ he says apologetically. ‘i mean, give it, uh, one or two weeks, but right now-’

’yes i do,’ jaehwan says silkily, settling himself comfortably on sanghyuk’s lap with one arm wrapped around sanghyuk’s shoulder. 

‘um,’ sanghyuk stutters, alarmed. has he been that obvious? he’s sure he hasn’t; he’s been so careful, so -

‘we’re not together, but /he/ doesn’t know that.’

oh boy, sanghyuk thinks, looking at jaehwan grinning down at him while Sitting On His Lap. 

‘do this for me, hyukkie? help me get back at him. you’re at least four times hotter than his new guy. maybe even six. all you have to do is pretend to be in love with me.’

OH BOY, sanghyuk thinks. 

‘what do you want me to do?’ he asks, hoping his voice comes out even, and jaehwan smiles.

-

sanghyuk’s life is a joke. it really is. 

he readjusts his hand in jaehwan’s, fingers entwined tightly as they pretend to be checking out the ‘coming soon’ movie posters in the cinema lobby while waiting to go into the theatre for their movie. jaehwan’s ex is somewhere behind them, with his new boyfriend - sanghyuk knows, in excruciating detail, how jaehwan had managed to wrangle them being here at the same time as well as every single thing jaehwan had found out about his ex’s new guy because jaehwan had insisted on telling him despite sanghyuk really not giving a single flying fuck. he was crazy to have agreed to this - this wasn’t a game anymore. jaehwan folds himself into sanghyuk’s side, looking up at sanghyuk with the love light in his eyes looking for all the world as though they might as well be together for real. the feel of jaehwan’s hand in his and the warmth of jaehwan’s body all along sanghyuk’s side - sanghyuk finds himself smiling like a fool, looking down at jaehwan, and then jaehwan surreptitiously tries to look behind them to check if his ex can see them. something very small and quiet snaps inside of sanghyuk. 

he moves to the side, enveloping jaehwan in a secure backhug as they pretend to still be looking at the movie poster. he rocks jaehwan slowly, sweetly, and when jaehwan looks up at him in surprise that he tries to quickly hide sanghyuk bends down to kiss him. why not? he’s only keeping up the illusion. 

he can feel the tiny gasp jaehwan makes when their lips touch, but by degrees jaehwan relaxes into sanghyuk’s arms. the kiss is unhurried, sanghyuk putting every second of longing he has ever felt for his damn hyung into it until he quite forgets that they’re standing in some romance-movie pose in the middle of a crowded cinema lobby. when he finally pulls back and looks at jaehwan, it seems like jaehwan has forgotten too. jaehwan stares at him, wondering, and then - a quick flick of his eyes down towards sanghyuk’s mouth once again. 

‘again?’ sanghyuk murmurs, bending towards jaehwan already leaning up to meet him, hands tightening on sanghyuk’s forearms.


	17. kenbin waking up + falling asleep

(just waking up; first night together)

jaehwan thinks he’s up first. he stays quiet with his eyes closed, listening to see if he can hear through hongbin’s breathing whether he’s still asleep or not. hongbin is breathing deep and evenly, so jaehwan opens his eyes and turns over very carefully. he doesn’t know how he managed to fall asleep finally after what had to be at least three hours of being so hyperaware of hongbin lying next to him but apparently he had - had he snored loudly? oh god, what if he had farted and hongbin hadn’t been asleep yet? not that hongbin would mind, he’s so easygoing - or would he? they’re still so new, even though he’s known hongbin for years, but. everything’s still so new. jaehwan doesn’t know which way is up sometimes still when hongbin smiles at him the smile he’s beginning to realise is just for him. 

he peers over at still-sleeping hongbin, and it really has to be unfair how good he looks. jaehwan is aware his hair is a mess and he has crusty eyes and bad morning breath, but hongbin looks like an angel or a painting. this is ridiculous.

jaehwan loses himself for a bit staring at hongbin asleep next to him in his bed, and the cherry on the cake: he’s wearing one of jaehwan’s tshirts. hongbin, sleeping next to him, in his bed, wearing his shirt. his hongbin. his hongbin??!! wild. 

hongbin snuffles in his sleep and that galvanises jaehwan to leap out of bed as gently as possible and hustle to the bathroom. he can’t let hongbin see him like this, even though hongbin’s seen him like this a thousand times. it’s /different/ now. he quickly washes up and combs his hair and hightails it back to his room, where hongbin is still thankfully asleep. jaehwan gets back into bed next to hongbin, breath now minty and hair neat, and as if perfectly on cue hongbin blinks slowly and opens his eyes to look straight at jaehwan and smile his morning greeting. 

‘wow,’ jaehwan breathes. ‘hi.’

‘hi,’ hongbin is still smiling at him, and for some reason jaehwan feels his face start to flush. having to deal with hongbin’s gorgeousness this early in the morning while the same hongbin is also smiling sweetly at him is kind of overwhelming, as is the knowledge that he could have this /every/ morning now. 

‘wow,’ jaehwan says again. ‘uh, how did you sleep?’

‘not sure i slept much actually,’ hongbin admits, looking embarrassed. 

‘why?’ jaehwan is immediately worried. ‘did i take up too much space? was i noisy?’

‘no,’ hongbin murmurs. ‘just. nervous. to be here with you. stupid shit like that.’

jaehwan pounces and smothers him with a hug and a fervent kiss (every morning from now on! just like this!) because hongbin was worried about the same thing he was worried about and hongbin’s the most precious thing and he loves hongbin so much, and after a minute of protest hongbin manages to push jaehwan off of him. 

‘i need to go wash up,’ he says, laughing, trying to cover his mouth and morning breath. jaehwan just grabs his face to kiss him again.

-

(falling asleep; 1000th night together)

‘how many times have i told you not to fart in here!’

jaehwan looks affronted. ‘i don’t know, i don’t count these things-‘

hongbin pushes at him, trying to roll jaehwan off the bed. ‘stop farting when we’re going to sleep!!’

‘then what do you want me to do? go outside?’ jaehwan asks, digging his feet into the mattress and sounding scandalised. 

‘hold it in!’

‘i’ll explode!’

hongbin loses the battle because he starts to laugh, and jaehwan springs back from his defensive position and wraps his arms and legs around hongbin. 

‘i’m sorry for farting,’ jaehwan says, nuzzling hongbin’s neck. ‘i won’t do it again.’

‘really?’ hongbin asks skeptically. jaehwan answers with a fart. 

once jaehwan has been successfully pushed off the bed and climbed back on and pushed off again and things are finally calm and quiet he snuggles up to hongbin who puts a forgiving arm around him and falls asleep almost immediately. they figured out comfortable ways to sleep a long time ago - whatever the dramas show you don’t actually work in real life. he’ll have to move later unless he wants a cramped neck and numb left arm. 

he listens to hongbin’s familiar breathing in the dark and wonders how he can love the sound of someone’s simple breathing, and then smiles at the thought that hongbin loves him even when he farts in bed. hongbin loves him. he really loves him. he kisses jaehwan in the morning despite the both of them not having brushed their teeth yet, and he holds jaehwan to sleep at night. he stays up when he can when jaehwan has to work late, and always, always greets him with one of his special smiles. 

hongbin moves to turn over and they separate, hongbin innocently taking the blanket with him as he goes leaving jaehwan uncovered. jaehwan narrows his eyes. hongbin is also a baldfaced blanket thief, but it’s okay. jaehwan loves him anyway.


	18. leohyuk out of necessity

sanghyuk will never admit it out loud, but taekwoon in the peak throes of a casting is terrifying. it’s the pale inhuman light shining out from taekwoon’s eyes looking into a dimension and space sanghyuk will never see and the uncomfortable crackling of pure magic in the air that makes the hairs on the back of sanghyuk’s neck stand straight up; every single time sanghyuk still feels fear creep up his spine at what taekwoon’s capable of. the sheer power that taekwoon is a conduit for is something sanghyuk tells himself he shouldn’t be jealous of - he shouldn’t envy something he can never experience or understand. 

the casting circle enveloping taekwoon this time is dark on the floor. sanghyuk knows what it was made out of, and tries to focus on paying attention to the process of the spell so that when the incantation is finished sanghyuk can quickly take over. sanghyuk is no mage and never will be, but what makes him special and essential to mages like taekwoon is that sanghyuk was born an Anchor. taekwoon needs him; without sanghyuk taekwoon will not live to see old age. 

any time now. sanghyuk watches with trepidation; he’s still new at his work and the last time he hadn’t been fast enough because he hadn’t been sure the spell was completely over. his hesitation had nearly allowed one of the shapeless ones to seize its chance to use taekwoon as a portal to come through into this world; and taekwoon, weak already as he was and clinging desperately to sanghyuk, had had to struggle to push it back into the dimension it was trying to escape. sanghyuk couldn’t make that mistake again. this casting was immensely taxing and taekwoon would have barely any strength left after. 

now! taekwoon utters the words sanghyuk has memorised that signify the closing of a casting, and sanghyuk is there exactly at the moment taekwoon closes his eyes and slumps onto his knees ungracefully. sanghyuk awkwardly gathers taekwoon up, gasping with shock at the feel of the magic instantly flowing through him but ensuring as much contact as possible between their bodies despite it still being something he’s getting used to. touching taekwoon is essential to use his power to absorb taekwoon’s excess magical energy to shut down the portal taekwoon has opened; but they don’t know each other very well yet and taekwoon isn’t always the most approachable of people.

sanghyuk firmly ignores all of this and focuses on helping taekwoon who’s panting shallowly, eyes still closed. sanghyuk supposes he’s really nothing more than a magical leech, as unglamorous as that sounds. at least he’s useful in a different way than taekwoon is - taekwoon opens doors and sanghyuk closes them: this is how he earns his keep. 

taekwoon eventually opens his eyes, back to normal now and no longer glowing with an ethereal light, though sanghyuk can feel his heart still racing and breathing quick. they’re both in the middle of the blood-drawn casting circle, sanghyuk cradling taekwoon in his arms, and thinks how this is the longest so far taekwoon has ever taken to come back to himself. he worries. is it his power? is he not strong enough an Anchor?

‘you did well,’ taekwoon says, and sanghyuk blinks in surprise. ‘better than last time, huh?’

‘sorry,’ sanghyuk mutters, embarrassed, but the embarrassment quickly changes to surprise when taekwoon smiles briefly at him. 

‘help me up. gods, i’m tired.’

‘surely the Lord Kwan will be satisfied now? he cannot ask you for another casting.’

‘i think you will be amazed at just what lords think they are entitled to ask for, sanghyuk,’ taekwoon answers drily as sanghyuk helps him to his feet and keeps an arm around him as they walk slowly upstairs to taekwoon’s bedroom, feeling cold magic still streaming from taekwoon’s body into his at the same time he can feel taekwoon’s warm physical body against his - it’s a surreal sensation. 

once in his bedroom sanghyuk experimentally lets go of taekwoon, giving him a questioning look. taekwoon frowns. 

‘it’s not done yet,’ taekwoon mutters, looking longingly at his bed. he looks exhausted, and clearly needs to sleep, but in this still-vulnerable state to fall asleep would be too dangerous. unless - they both come to the same embarrassing conclusion at the same time.

sanghyuk gets into bed with taekwoon, redfaced, just as awkward and shy. taekwoon stiffly shifts until their sides are pressed together, shoulder to hip.

‘don’t move away,’ taekwoon warns, words slurring with fatigue. ‘if a shapeless one escapes through me into the world it’ll be your fault.’

‘would it be better to-‘ sanghyuk starts, lifting his arm in invitation for taekwoon to come closer so sanghyuk can hold him, but at the look on taekwoon’s face he quickly backtracks. ‘um, nevermind-‘

‘fine,’ taekwoon says shortly, tiredly. ‘move.’

sanghyuk lifts his arm again and taekwoon rests his head on it, turning in towards sanghyuk’s body and after a painful moment’s hesitation he slings an arm around sanghyuk’s stomach to get more comfortable and increase the surface area of contact. everywhere they’re touching sanghyuk feels the chill of power still seeping into him - just how much energy had taekwoon used?

‘what exactly was that spell?’ sanghyuk asks, intrigued despite the awkward situation, but taekwoon doesn’t reply. sanghyuk looks down at taekwoon, head pillowed on sanghyuk’s shoulder and already completely knocked out.

sanghyuk watches him breathe deeply for a few seconds before curling his arm around taekwoon’s shoulders to pull him in closer and better feel each degree of magic leaving taekwoon’s body. taekwoon has been called one of the most powerful in the kingdom and tonight sanghyuk had seen for himself why from the great amounts of magic taekwoon had summoned; but he curses his own inability to understand what exactly taekwoon had done. tomorrow, sanghyuk thinks, staring at the ceiling of taekwoon’s bedroom. tomorrow he will ask taekwoon to start teaching him. he closes his eyes eventually, his mage’s even breathing soothing him to sleep as well.


	19. navibin for warmth

it’s wonsik who smells him first. 

hakyeon is too languid, too satisfied from the night’s hunt and chase through the woods and too pleasantly warm to be paying attention like he should be; but then again patrols rarely, rarely come here. he blinks in surprise and then annoyance at himself when he sees wonsik quickly get up, sniffing the air with his ears straining somewhere to the west of where they’d been resting together, wonsik’s fur keeping his bare skin warm. hakyeon had changed back to human form but wonsik had not, and the smell of the unfamiliar werewolf that now fills hakyeon’s head makes him shift back instantly to a background of wonsik’s low cautious growls. they slowly pad out together in neatly diverging routes, intending to make sure they converge on this wolf without giving it a chance to get around them. if they can smell it it can definitely smell them, and the fact that it hasnt immediately vacated the area upon realising it’s gotten close to other wolves is worth concern. this is how weres have been captured in the past; by patrols using captured drugged werewolves to lure their own kind out; and now nobody trusts anyone beyond their own pack. divide and conquer has always been the best strategy to take down the enemy, hakyeon thinks bitterly. 

they silently move through the shadows, making sure they’re hidden, until the strength of the lone were’s scent becomes so insistent it’s clear it is barely ten paces away. acrid wolf-scent and sweat, no blood, young, male - all these things pile up in hakyeon’s mind as he slowly moves around a tree and finally sees their quarry. he’d been focusing so much on smelling out the wolf that he had pushed what he could hear to the back of his mind so that it wouldn’t distract him, but the dragging sound and harsh panting that had been building louder in his ears are immediately connected the moment he sees the wolf. one of its back legs is broken, and it’s dragging the leg behind itself as it painfully and laboriously tries to keep going. hakyeon and wonsik keep pace with it, watching silently as the wolf tries to move faster, head swinging from side to side. it can’t see them, but it can smell them, and it’s panicking. it doesn’t even seem to know where it’s going - is there also something wrong with its eyes? has it been stunned or concussed in some way?

hakyeon makes a decision; there are no other scents or sounds in the air. he barks once, short and sharp, and the wolf stops dead in its tracks. it turns with difficulty, not knowing where exactly to face its pursuers, and begins to growl in unconvincing defiance and threat.

hakyeon knows wonsik will keep himself hidden until hakyen tells him otherwise, and so hakyeon walks out into a patch of moonlight and sees the fear go fullblown in the injured young one’s eyes. 

hakyeon approaches slowly, keeping his manner as unthreatening as possible for an alpha. he whuffs in greeting once and then again, watching the young wolf fidget with uncertainty and a terror hakyeon feels is not so much due to being aware that it’s surrounded by two wolves but due to whatever it’s been through - and whatever gave it that broken leg. 

hakyeon makes another decision, and changes. he knows wonsik will be ready to protect him in case the wolf decides to attack. 

‘we will not hurt you,’ hakyeon says, reaching his hands out towards the wolf placatingly. ‘you’ve got a broken leg. we can help.’

the wolf whines, a high-pitched sound of fear and helplessness, trying to move back away from hakyeon still approaching him. even in this state if he lunged and managed to get his teeth into hakyeon in the right place it would be a fatal wound, but it seems like the wolf is beyond contemplating attacking. 

‘wonsik, come out,’ hakyeon calls over his shoulder, not taking his eyes off the scared wolf. ‘change first.’ 

wonsik appears a few seconds later, slowly approaching the wolf like hakyeon had. 

‘see? we mean no harm. we’ll take care of you. you’re not going to last out here on your own.’

the wolf looks between hakyeon and wonsik, desperate whines still escaping its throat. 

‘change, youngling, and come with us.’

hakyeon puts as much alpha command as he can into his human voice and the wolf jerks, reacting on instinct. 

the wolf shudders, and hakyeon sees the most difficult shift back to human form he has ever experienced; the wolf fighting the human taking control. when it is finally over they’re both staring with wide eyes at the boy on his hands and knees in the forest undergrowth - not much older than wonsik? younger? - still making wolf sounds deep in his throat and nervously pawing the ground. dirty, covered in sweat, hair matted and wincing in pain, he rolls over onto his back with an effort to show them his belly in submission. his eyes are so wide with fear hakyeon feels a fierce pang of pity for whatever he’s gone through. 

‘how long have you stayed as a wolf?’ hakyeon asks gently, squatting to match the boy’s level. 

the boy looks confused, and hakyeon, puzzled, tries again.

‘when was the last time you were human?’

the boy slowly tries to answer, mouth opening and jaw working to try to form the words until a rough voice croaks out ‘moons. two. moons.’

two months? hakyeon looks round at wonsik. no wonder the boy looks like he’s half-forgotten how to be human. 

‘what happened?’ hakyeon points at his injured leg.

‘pat-rol. catch. me. i run,’ he manages to say brokenly, gesturing as well at his right leg, the broken one. ‘fall. into- into-‘ he stops, not being able to find the words, then motions with his hands a deep ravine. 

‘when did you last eat? eat? food?’

the boy, his human mind still struggling with words and sentences he has kept hidden for two months, swallows. ‘don’t know.’

hakyeon looks at wonsik again, who has a look of such intense pity and protectiveness on his face hakyeon knows wonsik is thinking the same thing as him. their pack’s resources are already thin at best and supporting another one would be stretching their means too tight - but there’s no question of leaving the boy here. 

hakyeon and wonsik carefully pull him up, the boy’s laboured breathing belying how much his leg must be hurting him. if it’s not a recent break and he’s been going around like this since he tried to escape the patrol he may be permanently lame - and a lame wolf is a dead one these days. 

they support him between them as they slowly, painfully, make their way back to where they’d been resting before. they put him down carefully before hakyeon retrieves his pack and his and wonsik’s clothes from the tree stump he’d hidden it all in and gives the boy water, wonsik quickly taking their coats and laying them over the boy. a violent shivering has overtaken him; without his fur to protect him from the night chill and weakened from lack of food and injury his body temperature has dropped fast. he can hardly hold the bottle of water to his lips. hakyeon gently takes it from him and helps him drink, the boy’s large dark eyes not leaving hakyeon’s face. 

‘what’s your name?’ wonsik asks, speaking to the boy for the first time and sounding like he’s bursting with curiosity. ‘where are you from? where is your pack?’

hakyeon puts out a hand towards wonsik, quieting him, as the boy gulps, swallowing his sips of water. 

‘where is your pack, youngling?’ hakyeon asks, repeating wonsik’s question. it is a pressing one. if they are not that far away they can return the boy to them - not only will the pack be wanting him back but hakyeon and wonsik’s pack will have one less mouth to feed and hide to look after. 

the boy’s face crumbles, and hakyeon feels a sinking in his stomach blossom outwards into his bones. 

‘dead,’ the boy says, devastation in his voice. ‘all - dead.’

wonsik catches hakyeon’s arm - two months ago there had been news of a pack from the other side of the mountain slaughtered by patrols. they look in silence at the boy, who tries to bury himself deeper in the coats, body shuddering from the cold. 

wonsik is human one moment and giant wolf the next, stepping over to the boy and laying himself down around the stray; offering his body and fur’s warmth and as much comfort as he can give. hakyeon does the same. there’s hardly anything that can be said in that moment in light of the knowledge that the boy has been running terrified from the wolfhunting patrols for months after seeing his entire pack - family - killed. hakyeon and wonsik pile themselves carefully around him in mind of the boy’s leg and after a moment’s hesitation he lays down on hakyeon’s flank, one hand in wonsik’s fur, and closes his eyes. his shivering stops soon, surrounded by warmth, and hakyeon is already wondering about how to smuggle home into the city a naked injured boy that looks - literally - like hes been running around in the woods for two months. 

‘hongbin,’ the boy whispers suddenly into hakyeon’s ear, and wonsik whuffs, pushing his muzzle into hongbin’s side. ‘name. hongbin.’ he says it like he’s only just remembered it, slow bits of his human consciousness coming back to him, and rubs his cheek against hakyeon’s fur. wonsik makes a low rumbling sound that makes the boy look over to him and run a tired hand along his head, wonsik pushing into the boy’s hand. 

hongbin falls asleep almost immediately in the protective nest of the two wolves, thick fur and powerful bodies keeping him warm and safe in the midst of his exhaustion. they would have to find stg for him to eat when he wakes, but that’s no matter. either of them can easily hunt down something small for him to eat in wolf form until they can get him back home and can give him human food. and then a doctor - 

hakyeon watches wonsik whuffling along hongbin’s skin, smelling him curiously, and smiles internally in his human mind. wonsik needs someone around his age, and hakyeon - hakyeon always has space in his heart for one more.


	20. chabin for comfort

hongbin has barely opened the door when hakyeon falls straight into his arms, sagging against him with a deep heartfelt sigh of relief. hongbin holds him for a minute before lifting him back squarely onto his feet and shuffling together backwards, letting his heavy front door swing shut with a sound that reverberates through the empty underground basement. 

they tumble onto the threadbare sofa together, hakyeon’s face still pressed into hongbin’s neck, the stillness and cold touch of hongbin’s skin on his desperately welcome like plunging into a deep pool of silent water. hakyeon can feel himself relaxing, the voices cut off abruptly now he’s here with hongbin. the headache will take longer to dissipate, but he’s got time. hongbin doesn’t sleep anyway; not at night, at least. 

‘what happened today?’

‘i was in court for six hours,’ hakyeon tells hongbin, murmuring againt hongbin’s shoulder. ‘the witness had been brainwashed and hypnotised. whoever did it knows about me.’

hakyeon thinks back to the trial, trying his hardest to sift through the layers of misinformation and distraction that the victim’s mind had been filled with by the accused. hakyeon’s gift is a simple but terrible one - ‘gift’, hakyeon thinks with a bitter smile hongbin doesn’t see. these days it’s nothing but a cursed way to earn a living. 

‘you’re here more and more often now,’ hongbin observes lightly, seemingly inconsequentially, and hakyeon stiffens slightly. what does that mean? is hongbin saying he’s tired of their arrangement?

‘i can pay you more,’ hakyeon mutters, but hongbin cuts him off, tightening his arms around hakyeon. 

‘i dont mean that. i’m asking why you’re so stressed out these days.’

when hakyeon’s job consists of finding out the truth - reading minds - when it’s an ability that isn’t controlled by specific touch or sight and instead voices of whomever is closest to him seep into his head uninvited; when word of him has gotten out and criminals these days are trying to cover their tracks by confusing and confounding the witnesses and victims any way they know how so hakyeon has to focus even harder and open himself up to an intrusive, disturbing cacophony of voices and thoughts every single day -

hakyeon curls a fist in hongbin’s shirt, used by now to the fact that there’s no heartbeat where there should be one. that’s why he’s here; that’s why he pays hongbin to allow this inconvenience. for some reason, he can’t read the minds of vampires. with hongbin all he has is blessed silence. 

‘work is hard these days,’ is all hakyeon says, and closes his eyes. 

they doesn’t have to be holding each other like this. just being in hongbin’s presence is enough, here underground away from humanity, but somehow - one day hongbin had pulled hakyeon in closer and hakyeon had found that hongbin’s body apparently has the ability to provide the total and complete absence of any dull, soft background thought-noise hakyeon has lived with constantly all his life. 

‘how long will you stay tonight?’ hongbin asks softly into hakyeon’s hair, and hakyeon’s breath hitches. 

‘i can go-‘

‘nah, stay. i have nothing else to do,’ hongbin’s voice is carefully careless. ‘you haven’t got your money’s worth yet, anyway.’

‘what exactly is my money’s worth?’ hakyeon asks, raising his eyes to hongbin’s, and he doesn’t look away.   
hongbin blinks, and darts his gaze to hakyeon’s mouth and back up again, chickening out. ‘at least another twenty minutes. probably.’

hakyeon lays his head back onto hongbin’s chest. he’s sliding down hongbin’s body slowly, melting into the sofa, and thinks he could stay here forever. with hongbin; playing their game of push and pull. 

‘how come you never want to drink from me?’ hakyeon asks sleepily ten minutes later. hongbin can stay so wonderfully still it’s like hakyeon’s lying on his own mattress at home. 

‘i don’t want to catch whatever you have,’ comes the instant answer, and hakyeon thumps him lightly with one fist. 

‘i think i’d taste nice,’ hakyeon murmurs, sleep-drunk, and doesn’t see the look that passes hongbin’s face.


	21. rabin falling asleep + navi waking up

(rabin falling asleep)

wonsik snores. hongbin has no damn idea how the hell he manages to sleep through the constant noise and movement of men, but somehow, amazingly, he does. he’s wrapped in his thick coat and scrunched down on a comfortable patch of mud - or as comfortable as the mud in the trenches can be - and snoring away like he’s at home in his bed. 

hongbin sighs down at his hands and halfheartedly tries to rub off some of the evil black dirt that’s permanently caked under his nails and on his skin. he hasn’t been properly clean for months. he can’t remember the last time he’d bathed with heated water. this, hongbin thinks, more than anything, is what is slowly driving him crazy. he tries not to think about how horrifyingly long he’s been wearing this pair of underwear.

the ceasefire every day at six seems like a joke - is this a game? shoot at each other for 12 hours and then stop to let people eat and sleep and evacuate the injured, dying and dead and then do it all again the next day. hongbin shakes his head. what are the other hongbins in parallel universes doing? not anything like this, he hopes. he finishes eating his can of beans and grinds it into the mud at his feet. god, he hates this mud so fucking much. 

using wonsik as a pillow he tries to get as comfortable as possible in order to sleep too, gun next to him and within reach. wonsik snuffles, and hongbin smiles despite himself. here, at the end of the world, with guns and bombs and blood and screams, he’s here with wonsik who can sleep through explosions and yells and half the time is making up songs in his head even when they’re on autopilot following orders from their sergeant. 

‘you’re keeping me alive,’ hongbin whispers to wonsik, knowing he can’t hear and therefore the only reason hongbin would actually tell him. he needs to stay alive to go home with wonsik after the war is over - wherever wonsik wants to go. he needs to hear the music wonsik wants to make. he needs to go to bed every night secure in the knowledge that wonsik will be there when he closes his eyes and again when he opens them in the morning, still snoring away like a foghorn. 

wonsik shifts a little and gives hongbin’s bare hand a little caress with a finger; a small ‘i know you’re there’ before falling back unconscious, and the stress of the day lifts slightly from hongbin’s shoulders. he closes his eyes, and sleeps.

-

(navi, waking up)

wonsik really snores like a godforsaken beast. hakyeon cracks open an eyelid and turns over blearily, halfway towards thumping wonsik to wake him up and roll over on his side to make him stop, but he realises the sun is already shining through the blinds. hakyeon panics for half a second; no, wait. it’s saturday. 

hakyeon props his head up with his hand and softens, looking long at wonsik. even though some nights hakyeon has no choice but get up in the middle of the night to sleep on the couch outside to escape the snoring he can’t find it in him to be annoyed at wonsik. what he would not tolerate in someone else is the most trivial thing when it comes to wonsik; no problem at all. the couch is pretty comfortable, anyway, and at least wonsik sleeps through the night now. no more terrible nightmares, no more calling out hongbin’s name in the middle of the night. 

hongbin, hakyeon thinks. he doesn’t know who hongbin is, and knows wonsik will eventually tell him when wonsik feels the time is right. there’s a lot hakyeon doesn’t push wonsik to talk about and just files under his mental folder of ‘the war’. 

wonsik snuffles and hakyeon smiles, reaching out to carefully move a lock of his fringe out of his face. when he’d met wonsik his hair had still been cropped short like all the other returning soldiers, and he’d never expected it would grow out soft and silky like this. 

he lightly pokes wonsik in the chest, and then again and again until wonsik grumbles and turns away from hakyeon.   
hakyeon shifts over to put an arm and a leg around wonsik and hug him, spooning him tightly until wonsik starts to wriggle to try to escape. hakyeon laughs against wonsik’s hair, burying his nose in wonsik’s skin and smelling the soap from wonsik’s bath last night mingling with wonsik’s own smell; hakyeon’s favourite smell in the whole world. 

wonsik finally opens his eyes and twists around to make a face at hakyeon. he likes it when wonsik wakes up this way; because there are still days he wakes up with a jolt like he doesn’t know where he is and always, always the first thing he does is to mumble or mouth hongbin’s name like he needs to make sure of where hongbin is. 

hakyeon isn’t jealous. it just fills him with a quiet heartbreak that he wishes wonsik will share with him instead of keeping to himself. 

‘let’s make eggs,’ he tells wonsik, who immediately grins his approval into the kiss hakyeon presses to his mouth.


	22. leohyuk reluctantly + while someone’s crying

hakyeon unobtrusively comes into the room he shares with taekwoon, sits down crosslegged on his own futon and proceeds to silently glare at him. 

taekwoon is at a loss, stopped midway between reaching for the book he’d been reading lying on his pillow. 

‘...what?’

‘i just heard sanghyuk talking on the phone.’

‘phone? we’re not allowed to have phones. why does he-‘

‘he asked to borrow manager hyung’s phone. he wanted to call his noona.’

‘..okay. so?’

hakyeon doesn’t reply. taekwoon’s defensive tone is enough to give away that taekwoon knows exactly what he did. 

‘what did you say to him?’ hakyeon raises an eyebrow. taekwoon thinks hakyeon takes this leader role a bit too seriously. 

‘i just said what is fair. that he needs to work harder.’

‘that’s all? you sure about that, taekwoon?’

taekwoon has the grace to look slightly ashamed. ‘and that he should willingly give his spot to someone more talented if he isn’t prepared to work twice as hard as everyone else-‘

‘-because right now he can’t sing or dance at all,’ hakyeon finishes for him. ‘that’s what he told his sister. crying. asking her to come to seoul and take him home because there is a hyung here who hates him so much he wants him gone and that the hyung is right because he has no talent.’

taekwoon furrows his forehead stubbornly, ignoring the burn of shame he knows he should feel. it hadn’t sounded quite so harsh in his ears when he’d talked to sanghyuk earlier - resting in his room when he should have been asking one of their manager hyungs to send him to the company so he can put in more hours of practice that he honestly /needs/, anyone can see that -

‘he’s still in high school, taekwoon. he has classes in the morning. and then he comes back from school and does nothing but practice until nighttime, does his homework past midnight, then goes to sleep for a few hours before he has to wake up and do it all over again. why are you being like this to him?’

‘if he fails we fail,’ taekwoon mutters. 

‘he’s not even eighteen,’ hakyeon snaps, uncharacteristically losing his cool. ‘you should know better. you should be encouraging him, guiding him, not tearing him down. how do you think he feels? he /knows/ he can’t sing like you or dance like me.’

‘then he should go,’ taekwoon snaps back, knowing there’s desperation in his voice and not caring. ‘we can’t fail, hakyeon. we can’t.’

‘we won’t,’ hakyeon tells him steadily and not unkindly. ‘but we’re going to do it with sanghyuk. not without him. now get your ass out there and make him feel better and tell him you want him to stay.’

‘what? no! i’m not going to baby him-‘

‘you will baby him, jung taekwoon, or you will stay here and deal with me,’ hakyeon leans forward into taekwoon’s personal space and warns, dead serious. ‘i mean it. move.’

taekwoon is speechless. he hasn’t seen this side of hakyeon before; they’re all still getting to know one another, getting used to the idea of being in the same group, and hakyeon can be.. a big personality, but he’s never been aggressive in this way towards taekwoon. this more than anything makes taekwoon get to his feet: if hakyeon is this adamant about it then maybe he is right and taekwoon has gone too far. he so badly needs someone to trust, and so far hakyeon seems to be it. 

he reluctantly pads out into the dark living room where he finds sanghyuk wedged into a corner against the wall, facing their tiny balcony and cradling a handphone against his ear. he’s not crying like hakyeon said he was, but his murmuring voice sounds thick like tears are not too far away. what is he supposed to do now? 

after a minute of standing there like an idiot dying of uncertainty taekwoon tries to clear his throat to announce his presence. everyone else is asleep - manager hyung is in his room. sanghyuk clearly wasn’t expecting this, because he jumps and twists around, and taekwoon hates to admit it but the way his face blanches when he sees taekwoon hurts. he thought being firm with sanghyuk would simply make sanghyuk buckle down and work harder like taekwoon wanted him to, but - sanghyuk doesn’t like him. sanghyuk even prefers hakyeon to him which makes him sanghyuk’s least favourite hyung, and that honestly hurts. 

‘sanghyuk, can we - can you call your sister back? i want to talk to you.’

taekwoon sits down on the floor a couple of paces behind sanghyuk and doesn’t miss the sad resigned look on the boy’s face. he probably thinks he’s in for another scolding. 

‘i’m leaving,’ sanghyuk bursts out awkwardly before taekwoon can say anything, once he’s hung up the call and turned around to look at taekwoon. ‘my sister is coming to get me. you’re right, i’m not-‘

taekwoon listens to sanghyuk talk, the light from the night outside playing vague shadows on sanghyuk’s shoulders and hair. everything he’s saying is taekwoon’s own words that were said to him earlier that day, and taekwoon suddenly feels so guilty he can’t believe he’d acted that way. 

‘no, stop,’ he shakes his head, face burning in shame. hakyeon is right. hakyeon, taekwoon is finding out, is somehow always right. 

‘you belong here. with us. i was wrong to tell you to leave.’

once that is out taekwoon struggles to find more words to say, and sanghyuk staring at him like he’s grown another head doesn’t make it easier. 

‘i will - help you with your singing,’ taekwoon mutters quickly, the only other thing he can think of, and hopes he’s not going to regret this offer. what else would hakyeon say?

‘we’ll get there. together.’ 

when sanghyuk doesn’t stop staring at him like he’s shellshocked taekwoon opens his arms, cursing himself. if he hugs the kid he doesn’t have to say anything else, and it will be more sincere than any other embarrassing thing he could possibly say. it will also bring them closer, right? maybe then sanghyuk will stop hating him so much. 

sanghyuk eyes taekwoon’s arms carefully like they’re going to explode, and slowly shifts closer to lean into taekwoon. his back feels skinny under taekwoon’s hands, and taekwoon feels another pang of guilt.   
t

to his horror, sanghyuk begins to cry.   
it seems that sanghyuk is just as horrified at this turn of events, but try as he might to stop himself he can’t. stress and exhaustion and worry don’t seem to want to let him, and taekwoon completely melts. he feels so sorry; so so sorry for this boy who must be just as scared as he is while also having to put up with someone like him, and surprisingly he finds himself telling sanghyuk so. sanghyuk fists his hands in the back of taekwoon’s shirt and lets it all out, taekwoon rubbing his bony back in a way he hopes is soothing. 

it’s still supremely awkward, and taekwoon wants nothing more to be done with this and back in his own room, but another part of him begins to rock sanghyuk back and forth gently to try to calm him down. taekwoon is only twenty-two, but this kid is only seventeen.   
‘baby,’ he murmurs into sanghyuk’s hair. ‘still just a baby.’

‘did you mean it when you said you were going to help me with singing?’ sanghyuk sniffs, and taekwoon belatedly realises he’s probably got sanghyuk’s tears and mucuous all over his shoulder.   
taekwoon hums his agreement, and sanghyuk shifts a little in taekwoon’s arms. 

‘because if you don’t mind i already asked jaehwanie hyung. i love his voice.’

taekwoon has absolutely no answer to this, and barely escapes spluttering out loud in indignance. 

‘that’s fine,’ taekwoon frowns out into space. ‘i’m sure he’ll be a good teacher.’

‘right? i like him so much. he’s so much fun.’

‘am i - fun?’ taekwoon asks without thinking, and he can feel sanghyuk go still. he scowls. 

‘in your own way,’ sanghyuk answers diplomatically, and sighs rather contentedly against taekwoon’s collarbone.


	23. navibin (rabin falling asleep + navi waking up)

wonsik strokes hongbin’s face continuously, smiling goofily to himself, and hakyeon bursts out laughing at the two of them outright. 

‘it’s lucky there’s no one else in this lift,’ hongbin mutters, swaying a bit trying to both stand up himself and hold wonsik up. he may not be as drunk as wonsik, but he’s definitely srunk. drukn. d r u n k. he squints at hakyeon, who for some reason drank more than both of them but is still sober as anything. there has to be some kind of black magic going on here, and so hongbin says as much. 

‘i /didn’t/ drink as much as you,’ hakyeon says simply, grinning. ‘didn’t i say i know the bartender? after the first two beers he was just giving me weak cider.’

hongbin cannot process this, and neither can wonsik, because he stops stroking hongbin’s face to stare unsteadily at hakyeon too. 

‘cider?’

‘yeah.’

‘in beer bottles?’

‘they were cider bottles. you two just didn’t look closely. you /know/ i don’t like being drunk.’

wonsik blinks like this is profoundly deep information, and hongbin is about to say something when the lift doors open with a ding! and he gets distracted by having to support wonsik out onto their floor and up to their flat. hakyeon unlocks the front door and sails through it, leaving hongbin to struggle with wonsik whom once again has been fascinated by hongbin’s face and has forgotten partly how his legs work; possibly also that he even /has/ legs. 

hongbin lugs him into their bedroom and throws him unceremoniously onto the bed where he moans, clutching his head. good. he should suffer a little for what hongbin has just gone through with him.   
hongbin winds his way to the bathroom on jelly legs but once he thinks about what a full shower would entail he changes his mind halfway and comes back to wonsik in bed. he pulls at his clothes haphazardly, registering at the back of his mind the sound of the shower beginning to run; of course hakyeon is firstly: sober enough, and secondly: particular enough that he has to shower before he goes to bed. too bad for him hongbin and wonsik are going to sprawl all over the bed and leave him no space. 

hongbin falls almost face-first into bed besides wonsik, groaning at the thought of going to bed dirty but not having the energy to face the prospect of bathing. he could have had hakyeon bathe him, of course, but hongbin has his pride. 

he looks at wonsik. someone should help him out of his clothes; but that someone is also not going to be hongbin. he wriggles under the covers and wonsik moves blindly with him until they are both more or less have their heads on their pillows and the blanket over them, and wonsik turns to hongbin once more to continue stroking his face. 

‘what is your problem?’ hongbin mutters, trying to bite wonsik’s hand. ‘stop it.’

‘but so pretty,’ wonsik sighs. ‘i like you.’

this makes hongbin laugh despite himself, and wonsik moves closer to hold him. ‘i like you so much.’

‘that’s good. i like you too.’

‘i’m really drunk.’

‘yup.’

‘i need to sleep now. but when i close my eyes the room spins.’

‘if you close your eyes how can you see the room?’

this stumps wonsik, and he continues to stroke hongbin’s cheek in a troubled manner. ‘i don’t know.’

‘go to sleep, sikkie.’

wonsik yawns hugely then, on cue, and burrows closer to hongbin, wanting to be held tighter. 

‘we are not drinking like this again, okay? goodnight.’

‘we won’t,’ hongbin agrees, smiling at his dumb boyfriend. ‘goodnight.’

wonsik presses a kiss to hongbin’s nose, and is unconscious to the world in exactly one minute.

-

(navi, waking up)

when wonsik wakes up it’s to layers of the world revealing themselves to him slowly, in different degrees of pain. the sunlight, the colour of the bedroom wall, the arm around him and the body holding him, the smell of something cooking from the kitchen. everything hurts him. /everything/. 

he whines in earnest at the pounding in his head, lifting his hands to his face so that he can press the heels of his palms into his eyes, and he can feel the body behind him shift to accomodate his movement. hakyeon must be making breakfast; despite his world of pain wonsik’s mouth begins to water as his stomach rumbles. he hopes it’s scrambled eggs. hakyeon makes such great eggs. 

‘how are you feeling?’ hakyeon asks him, amused tone in his voice, and wonsik turns around to look at the person holding him in surprise. 

‘hyung, you’re not cooking?’

‘binnie’s cooking. he couldn’t sleep anymore.’

‘but.. binnie can’t cook. he puts sugar in his eggs, hyung! why did you let him cook!’

‘i wanted to sleep in,’ hakyeon says, releasing wonsik and rolling onto his back to stretch deliciously. ‘if i can’t be served breakfast in bed by one of my two boys once in a while then what’s the point?’

‘you’ll regret it,’ wonsik says, shaking his head, and then himself regretting moving his head. small movements only, he decides. he rolls over with hakyeon to cuddle up to him, knowing he must smell of stale alcohol and smoke and sweat whereas hakyeon smells like an angel cloud; clean and wonderful. that’s why he loves hakyeon, wonsik muses. hakyeon smells like an angel cloud. 

‘good morning,’ hakyeon murmurs affectionately at him, stroking his hair. ‘are you hungover?’

wonsik grunts yes, and decides to go back to sleep again for another hour at least just like this in hakyeon’s arms. binnie can eat his own disaster cooking.   
hakyeon caresses him gently, starting from his hair to down his back and arm, and wonsik feels so contented he could purr. falling asleep with one person he loves and waking up with another - and the best part is, they love each other, too. 

‘breakfast is ready!’ binnie yells from outside, and wonsik winces. 

‘you can do it,’ he whispers supportively at hakyeon, quickly closing his eyes. ‘i’m staying here.’

‘i’m telling binnie you don’t want to eat his food.’

‘you know that will just encourage him more!’

‘such an admirable boy, isn’t he?’

wonsik tries to glare at hakyeon, but hakyeon has his eyes closed with a smile on his face so wonsik settles for biting his shoulder. 

‘i said breakfast is ready!’ binnie shouts again from outside, voice vaguely threatening, and wonsik whines again.


End file.
